“Ouija” movie inches closer to existence

The world is that much closer to an “Ouija” movie. Cat lady website Deadline reports that it will come to us courtesy of McG, the thoughtful auteur behind “Charlie’s Angels” and “Terminator: Salvation” and, apparently, the pilot episode of “Chuck.” But don’t you fret! It’s being produced by Michael Bay and the other crafty geniuses behind the cash grab remakes of “Friday the 13th” and “Nightmare on Elm Street.”

Due to the delay of Taylor Lautner’s turn as “Stretch Armstrong” (so many words in this sentence already make no sense), this “Ouija” movie would be the first board game movie hitting theaters after “Battleship.” While Peter Berg’s bug-nuts-crazy aliens-and-sailors movie is arriving in May 2012, “Ouija” would hit theaters in November of that year. In what I’m sure is completely unrelated news, dead birds continue to fall from the sky.