Great Things: “Fully Validated Kanye West Retires To Quiet Farm In Iowa”

SPILLVILLE, IA—Following the widespread acclaim and media adulation over his latest album, My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, multimillion-selling recording artist Kanye West announced Wednesday that he had finally received the exact amount of approval he needed to attain and had therefore retired from the entertainment industry to live on a small farm in Iowa.

I can’t praise this enough. The Onion really deserves an award or something. Check out that Photoshopping! I bet he makes the best snickerdoodles.