Finally, after I sat in my hotel room for another day and ran through as many imaginary conversations with the Beeb as any of his 12-year-old fangirls, word came down from the mountaintop: I would meet Bieber at his studio at 6 p.m. that night and we would box. Given all of our suggestions that had been rejected, this made no sense. Well, we can’t have Justin openly buying pornography—why don’t we just endanger his singing voice and orbital bone structure instead?But only a fool would argue. If someone asks you if you’d like to punch Justin Bieber in the face, the answer is yes.

Okay, so I generally don’t think Justin Bieber is that interesting. There was that time a fan accused him of fathering her child, which turned out to be untrue, which was I guess vaguely interesting? But otherwise I don’t really see much of anything in Bieber or the crazed world of Bieber fandom. And the idea of GQ profiling Bieber on the occasion of his 18th birthday to see if he is a man now (whatever that means) is also not exactly something that would normally strike my fancy.

BUT, all of that being said, the magazine sent Drew Magary to profile Bieber, and the resulting story is exactly as enjoyable as you might expect (if you are familiar with Magary’s work, which I certainly hope you are). So go read it.