Tagged: adam sandler

Adam Sandler, “Three Men and a Baby” and This Is How A Republic Crumbles, Isn’t it?

Perhaps the worst thing about maturing from adolescence into some semblance of adulthood, besides a growing awareness of the inevitable senescence looming for each and every one of us at the end of this journey, is the belief that you’ve heard it all and seen it all and it won’t get any worse and then it does, it really does, astoundingly and gruesomely, because no matter how dark it is the dawn is always a little further away than you might think.

And so with that in mind we consider the recent trailer for Adam Sandler’s “Jack and Jill,” the upcoming Batak Massacre of a film starring Sandler in dual roles as the male lead and his twin sister. This set the bar so low you could damn well drill for oil down there, as the saying goes (is this a saying? This is not a saying, but this should be a saying), so when a report surfaced that Sandler was seeking to remake “Three Men and a Baby” with David Spade, Chris Rock and Rob Schneider as the three men (involved in polyamorous relationship, said wording obviously originating from Schneider in this case) there was almost no way to respond besides just shrugging and giving up and saying Yep, that’s about where we are nowadays, isn’t it?

Now, Disney has come out and denied it, but that doesn’t change the fact that this idea seemed the very definition of sadly, regrettably and astonishingly possible. We live in a world where this very thing could have come to fruition. I long for the simpler, idyllic days of childlike innocence, when the most interesting thing about “Three Men and a Baby” was that urban legend about the dead guy. Alas.

Trailer for “Just Go With It”

Wow, it must be “Lightweight Romantic Comedies From Rich White People Who Have Seen Better Days” day on the Internet or something, because we have yet another trailer! This one’s for an Adam Sandler movie.

“Just Go With It” is the latest of Sander’s interchangeable “lovable shlub meets a woman, some plot contrivance causes problems, then they get together” movies. This time around, he’s a doctor (sure, why not) who meets women by pretending to be married (yep, sounds about right). Then he meets Brooklyn Decker, and decides She Is The One, because, well, he doesn’t read Sports Illustrated for the articles.

But! She thinks he’s married! So he has to enlist the help of Jennifer Aniston, to pretend to be the wife he’s divorcing. And you know how there’s that oft-mocked but even-more-oft-reused trope of making a hot lady look “frumpy” by having her wear glasses and a ponytail? Yes, they  do that with Jennifer Aniston in this movie. She’s frumpy! Until she’s not! And Sandler will realize she’s the one he was meant to be with, the end.

Also, Nicole Kidman has a role in this movie, for some inexplicable reason. And have I mentioned the title yet? Because really, that title is terrible. Okay, I’m done complaining now.