Tagged: natalie portman

Weekend Box Office Preview: Natalie Portman slums it for the weekend

This is your last weekend to see movies before the Oscar nods are announced on Tuesday, so you might as well spend it seeing something Natalie Portman will be ashamed of for the next five weeks. “No Strings Attached” could be a decent comedy, if not for the following facts:

  1. Ashton Kutcher
  2. Ivan Reitman, who last directed a good movie (“Dave”) in 1993. I repeat: 1993. His most recent movie? 2006’s “My Super Ex-Girlfriend.” I hate to say this about the guy who made “Ghostbusters,” “Groundhog Day,” “Stripes” and “Meatballs,” but…whatever his (exceedingly impressive) resume, at this point he’s the director of “My Super Ex-Girlfriend.”
  3. It looks pretty terrible, all things considered?

Anyway, if your movie is mostly fodder for “Hey, will this cost Natalie Portman the Oscar?” discussions, that might be a sign it looks pretty awful. It could be a perfectly entertaining romp, I don’t know, it has Mindy Kaling, and she’s a gem. But it has Ashton Kutcher, who only makes movies that are resoundingly not good.

So you could see this movie, if you want, but it’s the kind of thing Portman is dutifully promoting — and might be proud of, I don’t know! You can never tell! — and in a decade or two, when she’s got an Oscar and a baby or five and a very interesting and successful and varied career behind her, she will admit, with a bashful, remember-when-I-was-that-young smile, “Yeah, I’ve made some less-than-great movies. You know the ones. I don’t want to name names, but it costarred that guy in ‘What Happens in Vegas III,'” and everybody will chuckle, and she will move on, because, hell, Tom Hanks made “The Money Pit” (a defensible movie, I might add). Everyone makes mistakes!

Also, this is your last shot to see the Oscar nominees before they are nominated, so you can have a proper opinion on Tuesday when something (sigh, probably “127 Hours”) is snubbed and something else is inexplicably and unexpectedly elevated above the competition (“Little Fockers,” I’m sensing some Best Sound Editing love in your future). You could also see “Green Hornet,” which wasn’t that bad, or “The Dilemma,” which reportedly was very much that bad. Or you could see “Country Song,” if you are into that whole masochism thing.

(By the way, “Black Swan” has made $77 million so far, which is roughly 12 percent more than “No Strings Attached” could even hope to make, so at some point we’re going to have to discuss this bizarre, pensive, freaky-deaky psychological horror experiment and how it wound up topping $100 million dollars.)

I mean, honestly, who cares? It’s the third weekend in January. You know the deal. The Oscar nominees are out, nothing being released right now is any good. Besides, there’s football on Sunday.

Watch Natalie Portman’s maniacal giggle over and over

When this aired during Sunday night’s Golden Globes, my wife ran in from the other room to make sure I’d seen it. I don’t think is because of the adrenaline that comes from winning a high-profile award. I don’t think this is due to pregnancy hormones or whatever. I just think this is how future Oscar winners act when they know they’ve got it in the bag, and also when they are nominated for playing a nutbar. [via]

Trailer for “Your Highness”

Here’s the red band trailer for “Your Highness,” which is just the most absurdly perfect ever conceived. It stars Danny McBride as a prince, James Franco as his more-polished-prince brother, Zooey Deschanel as a kidnapped maiden, Natalie Portman as a badass and Justin Theroux as a wizard. It’s about McBride and Franco going on a quest to save Dechanel, and it’s kind of like “Krull” and those other very-very-very-1980s sorcery/swordplay epics, only it’s funny, and looks awesome, and it is absurd to think about the kind of money a studio shelled out so McBride could play the hero, but he (as the star) and this movie look just perfect. Also, when this movie comes out, Franco and Portman will assuredly be one Oscar nomination richer, to say nothing of a potential trophy. Worth knowing.

Again, red band, so if you don’t like naughty words or whatever, don’t watch.


Trailer for “Friends With Benefits”

Here’s the trailer for “No Strings Attached,” the first of two similarly-themed movies coming out next year about friends (Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman) who start hooking up but not actually dating or anything. (There’s also “Friends With Benefits,” starring Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis and due next July.) You can guess the entire story arc without even watching the trailer: They’re friends! They hook up! One or both of them develops feelings! They contemplate ending their friendship and relationship! There is some sort of mix-up involving one of them thinking about seeing someone else! Then they realize they love each other!

Two noteworthy bits: This is from Ivan Reitman, who last crapped out “My Super Ex-Girlfriend” in 2006, and used to direct things like “Ghostbusters.” Also, is that Ludacris in the trailer, as one of Ashton Kutcher’s buddies? It is, isn’t it? Wow. Isn’t it great that he’s the only actor in this thing who starred in a film that won Best Picture?