Tagged: will smith

Today in Totally Normal People Say Totally Normal Things, Will Smith and Jaden Smith Discuss Math

Will Smith and his son Jaden Smith star in “After Earth,” a sci-fi movie with a potentially promising premise (a post-apocalyptic father and son story) and a deadly flaw that should prevent anyone from ever seeing it (directed by M. Night Shyamalan).

But who cares! The important thing to know is that Will and Jaden are doing FINE, and they are definitely super normal people in every way a person could possibly be normal. Just check out these excerpts from New York interview with them:

I’ve read that you believe life can be understood through patterns.

Will: I’m a student of patterns. At heart, I’m a physicist. I look at everything in my life as trying to find the single equation, the theory of everything.

Do you think there is a single theory to everything?

Jaden: There’s definitely a theory to everything.

Well, I guess that solves any lingering uncertainty about if there is or is not a theory to everything. Jaden Smith says there’s DEFINITELY a theory to everything, so everyone else can just stand down.

Do you see patterns too, Jaden?
Jaden: I think that there is that special equation for everything, but I don’t think our mathematics have evolved enough for us to even—I think there’s, like, a whole new mathematics that we’d have to learn to get that equation.
 I agree with that.
 It’s beyond mathematical. It’s, like, multidimensional mathematical, if you can sort of understand what I’m saying.

Can you even understand what he means? It’s multidimensional mathematical, but you can probably only sort of understand what the star of “The Karate Kid” (no, the other one) is saying.

You and Jaden have acted in two movies together, including After Earth. Are you planning on a third?
 If you were a student of the pattern, you’d have to say we’re going to do another one.
 I definitely would do another one, absolutely. You know, how Johnny Depp and Tim Burton always do movies together, Martin Scorsese and Leonardo DiCaprio? We’ll have a relationship like that.

I personally refer to my relationship with my dad as more like Tarantino and Samuel L. Jackson, but that’s just because I don’t get patterns.

In After Earth, the father is a general who is injured and has to watch his son fight for his life. Was this a metaphor for what it’s like sending your kid into Hollywood?
 Absolutely. That’s what I wanted the metaphor of this movie to be. A father having to watch as his son makes mistakes in the world, and in an extreme place of life or death.

The movie “After Earth” — which is based on a story conceived by Will Smith — is apparently meant to parallel the story of Will Smith and Jaden Smith in Hollywood. So normal and relatable! It’s nice to know that fathers and sons are the same everywhere.

Will Smith, Jaden Smith and M. Night Shyamalan are obviously making a movie together

Okay, I don’t want to get anyone too excited, but we may be on the verge of witnessing the greatest moment in the history of cinema. Hold on to your pants: M. Night Shyamalan (the M. Night Shyamalan) is going to direct Will Smith AND Jaden Smith in a “futuristic science fiction adventure film.”

I KNOW, right? This thing is going to be better than good. It’s going to redefine the craft of cinema, plumbing new depths of the human soul and ascending to transcendent artistic heights. What is the plot of this guaranteed gem?

The story takes place far in the future where a young boy has to navigate an abandoned planet on a space ship that has crashed. On board is his estranged father.

Shyamalan will play the son, the father and the abandoned spaceship, while Jaden Smith will play the role of “Child Overly Managed By Stage Parents.” No, I’m kidding. (He plays the planet.)

I mean, Will Smith is the biggest movie star in the world. Obviously, when he’s done making “Men in Black III,” what he needs to do is work with the director of “The Last Airbender” and “The Happening” and “Lady in the Water” and “The Village.”

Just look at M. Night Shyamalan’s Rotten Tomatoes ratings for his directorial efforts. MySpace hasn’t seen its value plummet so visibly over the years. Every time Shyamalan makes a movie, you think to yourself, “Okay, the last one was bad, but he directed ‘The Sixth Sense.’ He’ll rebound this time around.” And then he makes “Lady in the Water,” and you think, okay, two duds in a row, no big deal, he’ll be back. And then he makes a movie about evil trees. And you think, okay, he’ll adapt someone else’s material, that will work out. And then, somehow, he finds a way to make “The Last Airbender.” With his back against the wall, with his reputation (and millions of dollars of other people’s money) on the line, he always finds a way to somehow set the bar even lower for himself, and then he inadvertently sets the bar on fire (that’s the twist!).

No, obviously the director of “The Sixth Sense” is still The Next Spielberg, and he just needs to find his rhythm again. Pay no attention to the four consecutive commercial and artistic failures (well, “The Village” wasn’t a commercial failure). He’s making a movie with Will and Jaden Smith! I’m getting in line to camp out for tickets right now.

M. Night Shyamalan will direct a script he didn’t write, and therefore might direct a non-awful film

The bad news: M. Night Shyamalan is making another movie. The good news: He isn’t writing it, Heat Vision reports. The potentially devastatingly bad news: It’s going to star Jaden Smith (and be produced by his parents, natch) and was written by the guy who wrote “The Book of Eli.”

Shyamalan is a very talented visualist and an abhorrent writer. Admittedly, the stars in every one of his films do the same shtick: sullen, somber and nearly emotionless. This worked in “The Sixth Sense,” it worked in “Unbreakable,” it worked in “Signs,” but it’s an old hat now. A Shyamalan lead is not allowed to smile, nor to joke, nor to enjoy life in any way. This isn’t having a thematic style, but being a poor director of actors. That’s why I am hesitant to call him a talented director, as I have in the past, because a big part of directing involves coaxing performances out of actors. (Again, part of that stems from his scripts, which of course inform the actors that they are dour, morose and mirthless individuals with otherwise blank faces.)

But! He is an incredibly skillful visual director. “The Village” was a crap movie, but it looked great. He knows how to build suspense, enhance dread and tell a wordlessly engaging story through skillfully-deployed imagery. (A silent movie would be the best bet for him, but alas, he was seven decades too late.) If he’s not penning wretched dialogue,  deploying his patented horrible characterization or building things up to his beyond-cliched twist endings, he might have a good movie left in him!

This film, called “One Thousand A.E.,” a sci-fi story starring Will Smith’s kid, probably isn’t that movie.

(Also, this story has an interesting note — remember that script he was shopping, the one that would star Bruce Willis, Bradley Cooper and Gwyneth Paltrow? Dropped, because he couldn’t find a buyer. It’s almost like people think he’s a bad investment.)